You know, there’s all sorts of things that i would never do in the US that a combination of boredom and isolation have driven me to do here. Riding bikes with a bunch of petroleum industry dudes is one. Another is watching Desperate Housewives. I was a bit resistant to the idea of getting a television, but it was cheap and i thought it might be kind of interesting to watch local television. We didn’t get cable or satellite or anything, unlike most people in Cairo with any money to spend.
Another thing i like about Cairo: the efficient use of motor scooters. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve seen a family of four packed onto a Vespa. Mother and father with kids hanging off in precarious ways, everyone all grins (well, i can only imagine the mother’s grin—she’s wearing the niqab), traveling at speed, robes thwapping in wake, in heavy traffic down the Corniche.
There are some things about this country that i really appreciate, like the ubiquity of bidets. I have to say, however, that i was a little embarrassed the first time i discovered this. I was in a newly-remodeled bathroom with a fancy toilet that didn’t have the flusher in any of the usual locations. I looked all over for it and couldn’t find it. It seemed like a long shot, but i saw this handle just below and behind the toilet bowl. I couldn’t find anything else remotely like a flusher, and it wasn’t sophisticated enough to flush on its own, so i turned the handle. Of course, i was sprayed hard right in the forehead by a jet coming out of the toilet bowl. I had to contain myself to keep from laughing hysterically. I stood up, wiped my eyes and then finally saw the flush button about five feet up on the wall above the toilet. I exited the stall with a difficult-to-control grin on my face and a very wet t-shirt.
Actually, this isn’t really a bidet, but a toilet/bidet combo. As far as i can tell, there is no word in English for this, although there are a few trademarked terms, like `’Washlet`’ and “Bidet-Loo”. The Arabic word شطاف is for the part that actually produces the rinsing jet.
I have a couple questions for y’all:
Gratefully, now that i’m not having to take taxis everywhere anymore (riding my bike is so much more pleasant), i don’t have to worry about this problem, but it’s still a bit perplexing. Is this just a peculiarly American expectation, that you’ll be able to go into a bank and get change? يعمي, i guess that would sort of make sense. If the Federal Reserve is good at one thing, it’s definitely printing more money. Still, the bank staff here seem like they are sincerely put out if you ask for small bills, like they take it personally or something.
Oh, and how ’bout this one:
Is it really such a hard blow to arab manhood to say, “I actually have no idea what you’re talking about or where this place is of which you speak.” Instead, they’ll just make something up.
And if you can’t make me an omelette at the moment because your chef is at Friday prayers, could you just say that instead of making me wait for an hour…for scrambled eggs!?!
And if i ask you if you have something in your shop and you don’t have it, could you maybe just tell me so instead of going to the back of the shop as if to get it, only to disappear for 15 minutes while you get it around the block at another store? I swear i won’t think less of you for it.
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Despite not hanging out much with people, i seem to have made something of a name for myself. And it didn’t even require carrying a doll around. I’m apparently now well-known as the guy who rides his bike to school. (more…)
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